Behaviour

Learning to share is part of a child’s normal social development. Children, like adults, often find it difficult to share their most precious possessions.

Children may not understand that if they give up their precious toy to someone else, the person will give it back when they are finished with it. Children may also have trouble understanding the concept of waiting for their turn

Think about how you can avoid the distress that a child may experience if a favourite item is taken away and how you can limit the time that children may have to wait before it's their turn.

Strategies for avoiding distress

1. Provide multiples of the same equipment

If I am two years of age, then the truck I am playing with is my most precious toy and I will not be prepared to give it up for anything. I do not understand that if I give it up, that person will give it back when they are finished. Hence there needs to be multiples (enough for the number of children in the group) of the same equipment - if another child wants a truck, there are others available.

2. Take turns

The older the child, the more socially developed they are, and at some point they begin to understand the concept of sharing. For short periods of time, with particular people, they may be able to share, depending upon what is being shared.

Think how you would feel if you had to share your lunch, your toothbrush, your new car, or the one you love with someone else. It is not always easy for adults to share either.

The thing to consider is the time children have to wait to participate in an exciting experience. Taking turns and waiting involves the child understanding the concept that they will be given a turn. The younger the child, the more difficult this is, because they have not developed this understanding as yet.

Think about how frustrated you become when you are in a queue in the bank or in traffic on the way home from work, having to wait for extended amounts of time. This can also become more difficult if you are tired or hungry.

3. Provide a range of experiences

Always try to limit the time children have to wait by ensuring there’s a range of interesting play experiences available. Having multiples or duplicates means that a child has less time to wait before becoming involved in an experience.

For example, if a number of children want to play in the block corner, you might introduce two block areas to avoid over-crowding. More children can then participate without having to wait.

Toddlers in particular often have to move as a group, so having two designated home corners, two cubby houses or two areas to participate in water play, will alleviate over-crowding and minimise conflict.