Behaviour

When you're feeling a certain way, how do you express your feelings? As adults, we have learned how to control our emotions and express them in appropriate ways. Children don't usually learn this skill until they have matured, so you often see a very raw demonstration of the way they are feeling - that is, their emotions are directly reflected in their behaviour. There are three main ways in which a child will express their feelings; through words, art and body language.

Words

Expressing yourself through words is a good place to start. By doing this, the person with whom you are communicating is in no doubt about what your feelings are. As a caregiver you need to be honest, and verbally expressing your feelings is a very appropriate way to do that.

As children are growing, their verbal communication skills gradually improve. Be aware that the words themselves only communicate part of the message. Pay close attention also to the tone of voice being used, and to the child's body language.

When communicating with children, make the language culturally and developmentally appropriate as well as using key words the child understands. Non-biased language should be used at all times.

Art

Art can be apparent in many forms - paint, paper, crayons, music, movement, and clay are just a few of these forms, and this is considered a meaningful way to express oneself. Have you ever used painting or poetry as a form of self expression? As a caregiver, you should always provide your children with a variety of means for self expression through art.

Some children will choose art to express their feelings, instead of talking about it. You need to pay close attention to the child's artwork for any messages they might be trying to communicate.

For example, Emily tends to use a lot of very dark colours and bold figures when she is painting - unlike the child in this picture who painted happy flowers in bright colours. Emily also paints with a very aggressive hand, often slamming the brush on to the paper with some force. This could be a sign that Emily is trying to express feelings such as anger or sadness, through her artwork.

Body language

Body language is a non-verbal language that is universally recognised. Your facial expressions and/or body stance can often give your true feelings away. Has this ever happened to you - your words are saying one thing, but your body is communicating something different?

Always look for signs of how a child is feeling through the body language they demonstrate, especially with those children who cannot speak yet. For example, Emily often demonstrates very negative body language such as folding her arms or standing with her back to people when they try to talk to her. She also uses her facial expressions to intimidate other children and turn them away if they try to approach her.

As a caregiver you will need to display non-verbal language appropriately. As with words, you can use your body language to show concern when needed or to share joy where appropriate.